Monday, October 19, 2009

Would you like your money washed?

This is getting redundant! I am unemployed and yes a little worse for wear when I get such shitty job offers. Ok I am not a genius but when I am asked to receive money transfers to my bank account and then wire transfer that to some unknown person, doesn't this sound like money laundering? Another one I see pretty often too, "We need you to pick up customer payments and deposit them then wire transfer to our headquarters at 'blank'." Do I have to post on my resume: "I don't know anything about working with a mafia, drug dealers, terrorists, and weapons dealers." In order to avoid scams? How is it that all I can attract is scams, schemes, and phishing scams... If I weren't a logical person I am sure that I would have been flim flammed, bamboozled, and hoodwinked.
Basically how can I find a job that does not require me to be a mark?
Well I am going to go back to traditional job hunting and hope that all goes well.
-MUCKY MOLLY

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I'm A Winner!

So you know how I was saying that I had a job and all that jazz? Well here is some up to date news. I am no longer employed but laid off. WINNER WINNER WINNER! I am now sitting in my living room here at the winner's enclosure browsing craigslist, monster, yahoo hot jobs, and jobing for a job once again. It is full circle yes I really didn't expect it either. But you know what I am tired of really bad jobs asking to get rid of me. First some crap MSG factory then my receptionist job. I do my job but it seems like its a crime being efficient. Maybe if I paint my nails and do my hair while I am at work I will have better luck maintaining a job. As for the time being I am waiting for my unemployment claim to go through and see if I get any luck and get paid until I find something else. Like they say there is always something else. I hope to be employed by mid-September at the latest so I will keep up the blog a little more and get some good guest writers to give in some good articles. So once again Mucky Molly is back in the intoxicated and grimy deal and lets see what I discover as my time as a winner continues. Let me know if you wanna post. Just email intoxicatedandgrimy@gmail.com and I will edit and review it for reading readyness on our blog.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Why I've been gone

Hello Mucky Molly here,
Long time no see... Yes I got a job so my life as a winner at the winner's enclosure was cut short. I know, I know I had to sober up and wash up. Now I am a working goon at a law office. Yes, it seems like law is the only thing hiring at the moment so go out there and belong to a law firm for a while. (Only if your desperate.)
Anywho just writing about something that makes me very angry. TRAFFIC. I absolutely hate driving to work, traffic makes my animalistic crazy behaviors come out and it usually helps me put my game face on when homeless people walk up to me for change. I end up growling and act just as crazy as the next intoxicated and grimy face on the street. I used to take the train but those days are long gone. (I miss you Metrolink) Yet my silver lining in the sky is something I recently discovered because of my traveling in 5 mile per hour traffic. The only thing that makes my mornings bearable is driving with J. B. Titty and the wonderful people at KROQ, the Kevin and Bean show will make me smile while I'm getting plowed into by some retarded LA driver.
LA drivers are the biggest rubber neckers, incapable of merging correctly, and the ones with the most dents and scratches on their cars. The last one should say the most about how bad it is driving in LA. My car isn't free of those dents and scratches. My car has been a victim of one hit and run, one count of vandalism, and one count of boyfriend backing out of Starbucks without noticing the gigantic cement pilar next to my car. My poor car (Panchito) is one tough Corolla I am definately one happy Toyota driver.
Coming back from my tangent... Let's get back to the Kevin and Bean show, I love this team of people with a passion. I laugh so hard that I don't care that I am getting cut off by some irate driver or that the truck driver next to me is running on no brakes. It makes me happy to know that I can relieve some tension by laughing with Kevin and Bean and the gang. Traffic blows, really blows, but I can survive it as long as I can ignore the horrible commercials, shitty rap, and listen to Kevin and Bean. If you read this Kevin and Bean I want you to know that I will always thank you for not letting me go insane. Love Mucky Molly.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Domestic Violence with Vodka and Budwieser Chaser

Ok so it starts with 3 Hoochy girls, a lot of tequila, myself and my man, and a couple of guys. Yes, it looked like a wonderful evening and I was going to get wasted and do some crazy dancing with my man. It was all set and ready to go and we make our way to Margaritaville. It was crazy fun and I chugged two Corona's. We left not too long after that.
We get to the hoochy girls home and I talk to the boyfriend of Hoochy #1 and he is telling us of his argument with Hoochy #1 for making out with super Hoochy girl #2. He is drinking his vodka with some Budwieser as chaser. We talk and well they got a lot of problems. To make this less painful, Hoochy #1 listens too much to Hoochy #2 and she sleeps around or hooks up with dudes that aren't her man. I tell him to dump her and she is using the fact that he needs the apartment that she treats him like shit. I tell him she is playing his punk ass and he needs to grow up.
Hoochy #1 walks in and asks her dude to talk with her upstairs and tell Hoochy #2 what his problem is. He doesn't even get the chance to get drunk.
Basically it goes all down hill after that. We hear shit being thrown and a couple hollers for dude #3. We all run upstairs and Hoochy #1 is crying and saying that her man beat her. Hoochy #1's man is torn up in the face and bloody. He gets his shit and leaves. As he leaves Hoochy #1 says and I quote "He didn't hit me, but I knew he wanted to hit me!" So I go after her man and tell him to book it cause she is calling the police. I talk to my friends (not the hoochies) that I don't believe one word Hoochy #1 and #2 say cause she was already wanting to break up ages before this scene and Hoochy #2 and #3 say that Hoochy #1 wanted to move on ages ago she just never had the right opportunity to do it.
This is the first time I have been present in a domestic violence situation were the Hoochy is at fault. I have seen the other version played out too many times to know that Hoochy #1's man was not drunk, was really chill even after seeing her make out with Hoochy #2 and talk to her ex-boyfriend, and was willing to work shit out after she called the cops on him. He has a record with the police so they believed the non-injured Hoochy over the bleeding man.
Women are fucking crazy and this Hoochy does not deserve to be in any relationship and every man in a 10 mile radius should get a restraining order on her. She is a danger to herself and to her friends. Hoochy #2 was a total hood rat and therefore should be sterilized before she moves onto her next year of college and stop giving out relationship advice. Hoochy #1 and #2 had this all planned out and lied for each other. Even with all of us present when this psycho stuff happened we were not questioned because "we didn't hear nor witness the argument," since Hoochy #1 and #2 said so. The police officer was great but the law was just being used as a tool to forcefully move someone out of their home.
As a certified domestic violence counselor this is when we should press upon both party's to stay away from each other. If either of you is a tramp move on and don't hurt your current partner. It's tramps like these that spread disease and have lots of children that suffer neglect. In order to be of any help to the human race please cut off your ovaries or for you men get those tubes burnt and shoot blanks PLEASE! So for all those suffering real domestic violence please read up on the situation and get some help from the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1(800)799-7233
It happens a lot more then it gets reported so stop real Domestic Violence and all you bitches and tricks using the cops as a tool for your lovers (non violent) quarrels get the fuck off the phone and just move out from each others lives.
-Mucky Molly

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Spaghetti & Burritos

I love spaghetti and burritos but never wrapped up together. These foods are wonderful, cheap, versatile, and scrumptious meals. I love a good burrito for its bean selection and salsa, toss in the rest but if it doesn't have good beans or salsa it's RUINED! Spaghetti is known for its yummy sauce. If the sauce is lacking in any way it's RUINED! So I come to the conclusion that the sauce is what makes or breaks these beautiful foods. Next in line is the meat selection. If either food has shitty meat your in for a shitty experience. Imagine a world of gross meat burritos or even a shit grade ground beef in your spaghetti! I would toss it out the window! So when you go chasing the perfect burrito inspect the meat and give the salsa's the good ol' taste test. When you sit down and prepare to take the first fork full of spaghetti smell the sauce and check out where the meat came from. You will know a good burrito and a good plate of spaghetti if you follow these guidelines. Never settle for mediocre food, settle for the one that wont send your colon for a spin. So if you learn anything from this woman, it should be that you check your burritos and spaghetti don't get pushed over and ask for the best damn burrito and plate of spaghetti you have ever eaten and enjoy a little more in life.
If it wasn't for spaghetti and burritos some other unknown would be my favorite. I will invest in a good burrito and plate of spaghetti any day. They will never betray me but it is the places that serve it, are the ones who will let you down. I will never buy a plate of spaghetti at any store but I would be willing to buy a burrito. Burritos are a bought food and spaghetti is more of a make at home meal. (although if you do go out and buy good spaghetti let me know I have been dying to know for a while) I love that anywhere I go I can have a burrito. I also love that when I come home I can whip up a batch of spaghetti. You ask me why burritos and spaghetti? Well I will tell you why! They are simply AMAZING! When I get a job it will be the high life of burritos and spaghetti just you watch!
Please inform me of other yummy foods that should be brought to my attention.
Sloppy kisses,
Mucky Molly

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Would you rather be a squirrel?

Being human is really odd. Evolution has given us the gift of unique fears that other species have the comfort of never experiencing. Now, as humans we rarely, if ever, fear that a bigger more violent animal will eat us. We rarely, if ever, need to worry about looking for food and shelter. We are even intelligent enough to design methods of keeping other dangerous humans out of our dwellings, so we need not fear, at least not on a consistent basis, intruders. To my understanding those are the most common fears among other species: 1) Will I be eaten? 2) Where will I find food? 3) Will some enemy find their way into my home? It is my belief that our large heads and ability to reason and learn has also allowed us to fear more. Now we fear things like bad grades at school. We fear our inability to pay our bills. We fear catching some horrible disease. We fear the flirtation we see our partner bestow upon another. We fear our overly-aggressive boss. There are countless fears that we now posses in all the glory of our intelligence and strength.

It's true though, we are still just dumb animals. And we do possess many of the same fears of other species. We just had this curse of a larger cranium bestowed upon us. Would it be better to be a lesser species - like a squirrel? They need not worry about good grades, bosses, or their partner leaving them for another. I'm having a difficult time remembering what is good about being human. Could anyone remind me?

-Plastered Patty

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Gene's Grinders

Ok, this place called Gene's Grinders off of arrow hwy is a nice hole in the wall. The sandwich itself was uneventful but I was glad to not get sick. The mustard tasted great and the lettuce wasn't soggy. The bread was totally not fresh baked like the sign said. The upside, no food poisoning(for me and Patty at least).
You talk to this Asian lady (we assumed was Gene of Gene's Grinders) who takes your order with a smile. This grinder was ok about one step down from subway. The fries reminded me of the long lost Bravo Burger of San Dimas(loved the place). I had other associates with me and I am happy to say that just one of us got sick. Plastered Patty had a sprite (smart girl) and J.B. Titty got a burger(the not so good choice).
I do have to say, the ketchup was an awful experience. It was a gelatinous, gooey, slimey, unappealing, and disgusting red stuff in a ketchup package. For those who don't mind a semi alright sandwhich, oh excuse me, grinder, this is the place for you. If you want to try the burger, here is the scoop. The burger was uneventful and suspiciously tasted like costo freezer burn patties. Our associate J.B. Titty got the mud butt and later destroyed our bathroom. So if you want to become a ticking time bomb (J.B. Titty blames the ketchup really) eat the ketchup by slathering it on your burger.
I will have to say 2 stars out of 5. It was initially a 3 out of 5 but I have had a longer time to reflect. I think if the place wasn't so sketchy, the ketchup was not from the 50's, and if they used something other than styrafoam it would have been a 3 stars joint. So if your in the mood for somewhat over priced food this is the place for you.
BEWARE OF THE ANCIENT KETCHUP!